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Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who’s facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers’ self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan’s estranged wife, Judith and Charlie’s crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around.
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Remember how Charlie and Chelsea’s relationship was drifting into the danger zone last week? You know that ‘to be continued’ we were left with… well, we picked up with the story as Charlie and Alan had cleaned up at home after their sojourn in the woods — Jake, too — only to find that Chelsea was pulling a ‘Charlie.’ That’s right, she was coming home in the wee small hours of the morning and hadn’t bothered to call. More on that and Alan’s topiary below the belt after the jump.
Chelsea had a chance to see another kind of life hanging out with Brad, and suddenly the Malibu beach house and life with hound dog Charlie didn’t seem like the ultimate ‘happily ever after.’ Charlie may have dissed Bra-a-a-a-d and his multiple charities and interest in the community and love for children, but it didn’t change the fact that Chelsea liked all of that. When she admitted to Charlie that she was attracted to Brad, he couldn’t convincingly make her see that he was a better option. Charlie’s vomiting on the baby was just the capper on what was already a bad conversation.
Drinking excessively and crying over losing Chelsea was new for Charlie, at least the crying part. Like last week, he was again taking advice from Alan. What was Charlie thinking? If there’s an underdog who can’t catch a break, it’s his brother. Alan couldn’t give advice to the homeless, although he has managed to sponge off Charlie for over six years so perhaps he could.
One thing struck me in Chelsea’s dissing Charlie’s life, and that was the business about his family. She was referring to his crazy family — as if Brad’s must be normal by comparison — but who was she to talk? Her parents were bizarre to say the least. Charlie may fight with his clan, treat Alan like a punching bag, insult his mother, demean Jake… but they’re in his life. The Harpers share each other’s dysfunctional lives. And Charlie doesn’t turn his family away. Give him credit for that.
So now what? The wedding is postponed and Charlie appears headed for a prolonged depression. He will not become a better man, no matter how much he may want to. It is like New Year’s resolutions and Charlie’s not inclined to become something he’s not. He may try to win Chelsea back, but I’d be just as happy to see another woman catch his interest in the interim. Or best of all, how about a Rose return. Where’s Charlie’s stalker when he needs her most?
Watch ‘Aye, Aye Captain’ Episode Online
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Remember that little incident involving Charlie Sheen and his wife Brooke that happened in Aspen over Christmas? At first it looked like it might be one of those Hollywood stories that would go away after a while (community service, a fine, whatever celebrities get in situations like this). But now it looks like it’s going to be a major case.
TMZ is reporting that the ‘Two and a Half Men‘ star is going to be charged with a felony. “Felony menacing,” to be precise. He is also going to be charged with misdemeanor assault. Sheen is going to be arraigned in court this Monday.
Not sure on how all of this will affect the taping of the CBS sitcom. The show has been going through a lot of odd incidents lately.
This isn’t the only bit of bad news for Sheen: his Mercedes was stolen earlier today and ended up in a ravine.
Uh oh — has Charlie made a critical error in his relationship with Chelsea? It depends on how to look at it, but the Humpster misplayed the situation in this episode and that “to be continued” at the end suggests that something wicked may be coming.
On the plus side, it looks like Alan won’t be losing his man-cherry in the slammer, and Jake has a future in horror movie sound effects.
Alan has shown more talent on his man-dates with Herb than the Internet dates he’s had. He was in rare form with the latest eHarmony hook-up, talking socks and sex. If he still had his ventriloquist’s dummy, he would have pulled it out. But Alan did show us something we’d never seen from him before. The monster. Okay, it was just one lucky punch, but still…
Could the Harpers have given Chelsea a worse view of their dysfunctional family than what she saw during this episode? Selfish, rutting Charlie. Needy schmuck Alan. Unloving, cold Evelyn. Disinterested Jake. They all came off as shallow and crass. Funny, yes, but Chelsea was dazzled by the lawyer’s altruistic qualities and grown up qualities. Charlie only cared about his wasted erection and missing a chance to get some nookie.
The Chelsea character could never come back and that would be fine. And it could be hilarious, too. Charlie has rarely been the person crapped on in life. Her returning the ring and choosing not to marry him would be a major rejection. Charlie could use a midlife crisis like that and the way Lorre would write it, there would be lots of comic implications.
Guess we’ll find out if Chelsea comes back…
Watch ‘Crude and Uncalled For’ Episode Online
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There was a strange break in this episode of Two and a Half Men, like
it might have been written by a couple of people who weren’t communicating with each other at the time. For the most part, one half of it was very funny. For the other part, however, the jokes were lame and the situation strained. It all added up to an odd night, which is probably kind of how Charlie felt when he got himself cornered into a tricky situation. More after the jump.
Charlie is a lying scumbag. No surprise there. But when faced with the prospect of spending time with Chelsea’s parents in Illinois, he scrambled for an excuse and came up with — wait for it — a colonoscopy! Oh yes, he volunteered to have a camera snaked into his intestines rather than meet the parents.
How funny that it took Alan to question the wisdom of Charlie’s plan. Normally, Charlie is the mocker, not the mockee.
Of course, he wasn’t fooling Chelsea one iota. That was the smartest thing about his episode. I think it’s becoming clear that Chelsea knows Charlie better than he thinks she does. Could we be further surprised that Charlie is being manipulated and doesn’t realize it till the wedding? Wouldn’t that be the ultimate twist? Even better would be if Rose were involved. Maybe she’s the master behind Charlie’s year-long engagement to Chelsea, just to make him realize that Rose was the right woman all along… Any thoughts?
The future in-laws, Tom and Martha, showed up anyway for a visit, and this is where Two and a Half Men made a weird turn and became a comic version of Brokeback Mountain meets Ice Station Zebra. The thought of Chelsea’s dad reclaiming his gay soul and deciding that he has to reunite with his 1966 sailor soulmate was unforeseen, but dumb. Quicker than you can say, Jake Gyllenhaal, Chelsea’s father left his wife and was settling down with his old Navy buddy.
Far fetched? You betcha. And not particularly funny as it spun further and further away from the basic situation that was vulgar but funny, Charlie’s colonscopy. Stacy Keach is a fine actor, but like a lot of other guest stars, he’s just pushed into a bizarre characterization. When the parents turned into bigoted, small-minded zealots, they lost all credibility.
In the end — no pun intended — Charlie was in the clear. He thinks he’s off the hook for lying to Chelsea, but really, is he? The bottom line is that Charlie really doesn’t want to get married so why is this engagement lingering on?
Watch “Yay, No Polyps” Episode here
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It seems that Charlie Sheen and Hanes didn’t make for a great fit after all.
The undershirt and underwear company has officially dropped the Two and a Half Men star from their commercials thanks to Sheen’s latest pile of dirty laundry.
A spokesmen for the company gave reporters the straight dope by saying “It’s a pretty standard, straightforward call when somebody who’s in your commercials is arrested on suspicion of something of this magnitude.”
Charlie Sheen has returned to work after a Christmas and New Year period fraught with drama. Sheen was back on the set of sitcom “Two and a Half Men” on Monday, January 4, 2010, 10 days after he was arrested and jailed following a Christmas Day 2009 fight with his wife Brooke Mueller.
A source tells U.S. news show Access Hollywood Sheen is “cleaned up and feels good” after the festive fuss, which landed him behind bars in Aspen, Colorado. The actor was charged with second-degree assault, menacing and criminal mischief. He was released from jail on Christmas night.
In her call to police, Mueller accused Sheen of threatening her with a knife. Mueller reportedly told Sheen she wanted a divorce and said she would get custody of their twin boys, according to the affidavit.
Sheen has denied he threatened his wife with a knife. Attorneys for both parties have asked a judge to lift a restraining order against the star, which forbids him from contacting his wife.
Check out the promo photos of the Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 12 “Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste” airing Monday January 11 (9:00-9:31 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.
Synopsis:
Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 12 “Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste” – Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend, and Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith’s watchful eye, on TWO AND A HALF MEN, Monday, Jan. 11 (9:00-9:31 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Ryan Stiles (”The Drew Carey Show”) returns as Herb, Judith’s current husband.
Also catch up with every Two and a Half Men episode by clicking here.
(Photos: Courtesy of CBS)
Actor Charlie Sheen has brushed off reports he’s planning to retire from acting, insisting the idea would “be a mistake”. Sheen, the star of hit U.S. sitcom “Two and a Half Men“, was rumoured to be quitting acting amid extended financial negotiations with his TV bosses.
He explains, “There’s been some talk about that (retiring). People thought I was depressed because of the contract negotiations or whatever.” And though Sheen admits he thought early on he would be finished with acting before he was middle-aged, he insists there’s no truth to the rumblings.
He adds, “I had a fantasy when I was a lot younger of retiring at 40, then I ended up on this hit show everybody seems to love. So retiring right now might be a bit of a mistake.”
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It’s Christmas time at the Harper household, and Alan is preparing a feast for Christmas Eve for the family. Evelyn shows up an ancient television producer, Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner), who she’s trying to get the estate sale on his 60 million dollar property when he passes. Charlie gives Berta her holiday gift, and she chooses to hang around for the holiday as a guest.
Everything seems like it’s going to go well at the Harper Christmas dinner for once, until Jake is checking out some cute girls by the beach. Charlie sees him and encourages him not to be in a committed relationship with Celese at only 13, err 15. With Celese out of town, Charlie convinces him to go talk to the girl and he does and eventually invites her back to the place. When Jake goes over to the girl’s aunt’s home, Celeste comes over to give him his present. Jake returns home with the girl in front of Celeste, and suddenly he has no women. Chelsea comes home and overhears the advice that Charlie gave Jake and is pissed for obvious reasons. Now we have the awkward Harper dinner we’re used to.
The episode title, “Warning, It’s Dirty” was said by Marty as he warned before telling a story.
